Insomnia Poem, part XII (and no I'm not just trying to trick out your sympathy, I think)

To fear
dreaming or the
taptap process
remember – at all
the sensation before
sleep? scratching
glass painless
fingernail tear
through the quick
knuckle drop deep through
the mattress and
crusted bloody, hoary dirt
catching fabric weaves, squeezed
skin passing
against the floor
meeting the warm-shell
Earth long forgotten
volcano imagery
hustles my genitals
waists sink and
breathing apparati rise
My body is an
awkward organ: heavier
than I remember
limbs bloating, a thing apart
from the
thickening dream water,
leaves me